A.R. Fox, Angel Ortiz, Anthony Stone, Beyond Wrestling, Bill Carr, Bryan Myers, C.J. Parker, Chris Dickinson, Chris Hero, Chris Pyro, Crusade For Change, Da Hit Squad, Dan Barry, Dan Berry, Darius Carter, Davey Cash, David Starr, Devin Blaze, Donovan Dijak, Eric Corvis, Fete Music, Hot Sauce Tracey Williams, Jaka, Joey Ryan, John Silver, Johnny Cockstrong, Johnny Gargano, Jonathan Gresham, JT Dunn, Karlee Perez, Kimber Lee, Larry Legend, Mafia, Maria Kenellis, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, Mike Draztik, Monsta Mack, Nick Gage, Pinkie Sanchez, Providence, Rich Palladino, Shy, Shynron, Stockade, Sugar Dunkerton, Team Pazuzu, Team Pazuzu Doom Patrol, The Beaver Boys, The Kingdom, The Minutemen, Tommy Trainwreck, Tracy Williams
The Battle of New England Returns
August 30, 2015
Providence, RI USA
Promoter: Drew Cordeiro
Ring Announcers: Rich Palladino, Larry Legend, Drew Cordeiro
Referees: Michael Santana, Kevin Quinn
Mr. Cordeiro decided to hold a show in the dog days of summer to keep the Fete momentum going. While the crowd was smaller than the Americanrana sellout last month, the energy was strong. It was announced before the show that Matt Tremont would not appear due to injury.
1. Battle of New England Challenge Match 1: Kimber Lee & JT Dunn v. EFYBO (Ortiz & Draztik). W. Lee & Dunn
Dunn and Lee worked well as a team, meeting everything EFYBO had with a bit more.
EFYBO have no class. The expected and unnecessary “S.M.D.” stuff came out fairly early in the match. Not only is this kind of thing loathsome, its tired. Just wrestle for God’s sake. Kimber Lee showed these two miscreants what it means to be beaten by a much smaller woman.
Lee outsmarted, and frankly out-powered, Ortiz and Draztick to escape a potential double team on her missed Superplex attempt, by giving one of the jerks a nasty Hurricarana. Lee finished Ortiz with a Power Bomb off the top rope for a nice roll up pin.
2. Last Time Ever Match: Nick Gage v. Sugar Dunkerton. W. – Gage
You have to give Mr. Dunkerton points for guts. He was quickly in over his head and managed to at least evade Nick Gage for the first part of the match. He tried science, chairs, and even a face-to-face sit down. Nothing worked. Gage finished him with a Pile Driver and Back Breaker combination. Gage pinned Dunkerton with his foot while standing over him in triumph.
The Professor saw Dunkerton in the men’s room shortly after the match and praised his effort as a great match. Mr. Dunkerton responded with “for who?”. Not every night is your night. He put in a respectable performance against someone who can probably only be defeated by another hard core specialist.
3. Scramble Match for CLL World Championship: Johnny Cockstrong v. Stockade v. David Starr v. Eric Corvis v. “Hot Sauce” Tracy Williams v. Shynron (C). W. – Shynron
For most of this contest there were only 2 men in the ring. Everyone brought something and it seemed there was no dominant player. A highlight was when Starr decided to attack Referee Santana. Never a smart move politically. Corvis and Shynron held Starr and Santana Super Kicked Starr. Shynron kept his title with a second rope 630 on Cockstrong, resulting in a definitive pin.
4. Gauntlet Match: “Crusade For Change” – The Minutemen (Devin Blaze & Tommy Trainwreck)& Darius Carter v. Detective Dan Barry & Da Hit Squad (Mafia Maff & Monsta Mack). W. – Crusade For Change
Barry faced the three crusaders alone at first. It was not going well when Da Hit Squad entered the fray and evened things up. Da Hit Squad were making life very hard for The Minutemen when they smashed them through the exit doors. The Minutemen capitalized by locking Mafia and Monsta out of the building, freeing them to focus on Barry. “Urkel” Carter beaned the detective with the bell and got a cheap pin. A bell beat down commenced. Barry would have been beaten senseless had not his recovering partner Bill Carr entered and saved him.
5. The Beaver Boys (John Silver & Alex Reynolds w. Rex Lawless) v. The Kingdom (Matt Taven & Mike Bennett w. Maria Kanellis). W. – The Kingdom
Taven and Bennet are two of the best workers on the circuit today. They are right behind The Young Bucks in the chase for “Best in The World Tag Team”. Unfortunately they don’t do much wrestling when they hit Providence (admitted by Taven on mic). They fool around and frankly waste the crowd’s time as well as their opponents’. The Kingdom have taken the comedy too far to the point of obnoxiousness. Guys – time to show what you have and dial back the gags. You are at risk of hurting your reputation. The Professor is a huge fan of comedy wrestling but this is too much.
The Beaver Boys always give the paying fans their money’s worth in terms of wrestling work and spectacle. The Professor heard a fan call Silver a “Honey Badger”. How true. The Beaver Boys did their jobs tonight and Bennett got lucky to pin Mr. Silver after his distraction by Ms. Kanellis.
6. Lick of Death v. Blow Pop Match: Karlee “Catrina” Perez v. Joey Ryan W. – Perez
We expected some gross out stuff and got it good. Mr. Ryan started by pouring baby oil into his trunks. There was plenty of blow pop sight gags including Perez shoving one in a particularly painful spot. Once the nonsense was over with, these two put on a real scientific match with a credible victory by Ms. Perez. (Kingdom, hope you took some time away from looking in your mirrors and watched this skillful balance of comedy and wrestling).
Ms. Perez at one point had Ryan in a CTFO (Mike McCarthy’s legendary choke hold) but was just not strong enough to bring it home. She finished Mr. Ryan with another variety of choke hold submission. This after multiple suplexes and plenty of science. Great match.
7. Battle of New England Challenge Match 2: Da Hoodz (Cash & Pyro) & Anthony Stone v. Team Pazuzu Doom Patrol (Dickinson, Sanchez, & Jaka). W – Team Pazuzu Doom Patrol
This was the match of the night. Mayhem, insanity, and brutal dominance by Pazuzu. It was surprising just how badly Da Hoodz and Stone underestimated The Doom Patrol. Stone ended up unconscious and rolled indignantly to the floor. Pyro took multiple power bombs from Dickinson and barely survived the bout. Da Hoodz and Stone will no doubt regroup and be back for their revenge. This isn’t over.
8. Battle of New England Challenge Match 3: Rich Palladino v. Larry Legend. W. – Unclear Mess Appearing as DQ
Rich Palladino entered the ring expecting a legitimate match. Legend didn’t even change out of his Wal-Mart Tuxedo. He brought in the whole gang to beat the heck out of his fellow announcer, who after being strangled disappeared from sight. All hell broke loose as Lee and Dunn entered, followed by The Kingdom who turned heel and held Dunn as his partner was savaged. This was ugly, ugly, ugly. After tonight its hard to see a path to defeating Team Pazuzu.
9. Donovan Dijak v. C.J. Parker. W. – Dijak
Dijak took the mic and complained that he was “scheduled to appear” with no opponent. Promoter Cordeiro tried to explain that nobody was willing to wrestle him. Dijak threatened to leave the company when C.J. Parker walked over from the merch table and took him on.
Parker was one of the few men of late who could counter the size, strength, and skill of an ascendant Dijak. The match was filled with brutality, high spots (evaded by the other man most of the time), and scientific skill. Parker seemed on the verge of victory with several submission holds but Dijak showed his Brian Fury training and managed to escape. Dijak gets a clean pin and Parker storms out, giving the bird to the crowd and vowing to never return to Beyond Wrestling.
10. Main Event: A.R. Fox vs. “The Octopus” Jonathan Gresham. W. – Gresham
These two went toe to toe for most of the match. Fox started things with 3 suicide dives back to back on a dazed Gresham who struggled to regain his footing outside the ring. The level of skill displayed by both wrestlers was impressive. Fox used his wife to trip Gresham and at one point she had him in a Full Nelson. Things went awry and Mrs. Fox ended up with a spit red substance in her eyes. Referee Santana tended to her, distracting him from seeing Fox tap. Fox got out of it but moments later found himself in another submission hold from which he could not escape. Gresham wins by submission.
Interestingly, this was the second submission loss for Fox at Beyond in as many shows. The Professor tends to think fluke. We’ll have to see.
Sept 26 2015
Sept. 27 2015