“Life Sucks and Then You Die”
June 28, 2015
Providence, RI USA
Promoter: Drew Cordeiro
Ring Announcer: Rich Palladino
Referees: Keenan, Quinn, Yost, Tony P.
The Professor had the pleasure of interviewing Drew Cordeiro at NEFF 5 on Saturday. We have been trying to get to a Beyond show for quite some time but after experiencing Drew’s enthusiasm and exuberance we made a point of getting back to Providence on Sunday for this show. Beyond Wrestling is unique. Thoroughly impressive on all counts. There is a lot to be said about Beyond which we’ll get to later but the one word that covers it all is “Joy”.
1. “The Kingdom” (Matt Taven & Mike Bennett) vs. “Team Tremendous” (Detectives Dan Berry & Bill Carr) – W. – The Kingdom
How often do you see athletes of this caliber in an opening match? Team Tremendous are hilarious comedians as well as being great wrestlers. Taven & Bennett’s reputations speak from themselves and they did not disappoint. Mirrored outside interference, Maria Kenellis, Taven outro’ing himself with “Sexual Taven”. All good.
Assertive Champions. Image: The Professor
2. 3-Way Elimination Match: Colt Cabana vs. Johnny Cockstrong vs. Joey Ryan. W. – Cabana
This match was presented as a bizarre “Scientific Exhibition”. Crotch hits, innuendo, and the unsettling use of Blow Pops is not what usually comes to mind in a scientific match. Regardless, this was an entertaining contest. There were some chants of questionable taste which can’t be printed here given that kids read this blog. Cabana tried to impart some decorum but it didn’t happen.
Cabana Appeals to Reason – Without Success. Image: The Professor
Mr. Cockstrong wears what appears to be a codpiece on which is an image of his smiling face. He is impervious to hits to the groin, hence his moniker. Ryan proved more vulnerable when Colt Cabana pulled out his chest hair and blew it into the wind. Cockstrong eliminated Ryan by using his pants to smother his opponent in preparation for a pile driver. Cabana finished off Johnny with a submission by a modified crab. Despite the circus, there was some fine wrestling on display here. The Professor was kinda glad he didn’t bring his younger family members to this particular match.
Team Pazuzu (featuring the annoying Pinkie Sanchez) came in at the end and did a number on poor Cockstrong, whose scrotal invulnerability was apparently no longer in effect given his lost codpiece. This was just the beginning.
Pinkie Blanks Over Cockstrong. Image: The Professor
3. Team Pazuzu vs.The GSG & The Symbiote. W. – Team Pazuzu
This match was hard to follow given so many men were involved with each vying to outdo the others with demonstrations of technical (and sadistic) prowess. One notable and possibly unique move was when four men simultaneously jumped off the top corners to smash the other four prostate men on the apron. Marvelous execution. Pazuzu dominated mentally and physically, ending things with a triple team combination of possibly 4 moves for pin on Mr. Vega.
The Definition of Anarchy. Image: The Professor
4. David Starr vs. Anthony Stone. W. – Starr
Starr was supposed to face the injured Dave Cole. He made some disparaging remarks about Cole’s courage. Mr. Cole nominated “The Almighty” Anthony Stone as his worthy replacement. “The Hardcore Jesus” used a lot of his offensive repertoire but was unable to knock Starr off his game. Stone tried a Sunset Flip and Starr took advantage of a small miscalculation and rolled Stone up for a clean pin.
The Arrogance of Starr. Image: The Professor
The Hardcore Jesus in Action. Image: The Professor
5. No Disqualification Match: Da Hit Squad (Mafia & Monsta Mack) vs. The Hooligans (Devin Cutter & Mason Cutter). W. – Da Hit Squad
Four of the biggest, toughest men seen in many a year. Good thing the ring was safety checked before the show. The Hooligans took it right to the repeat offenders but found that they were hard to move, even for men as big as the Cutters. It became a game of psychology, with The Hooligans doing a lot of slapping and challenging their opponents to a sit down bar fight. Things devolved rapidly and both teams were on the V.I.P. stage where the Hooligans tried to put Da Hit Squad through a concession table. This backfired badly with one Cutter on his back on the table and the other used as a projectile with predictable results for the table. How men this big can walk away from this kind of thing as well as multiple suicide dives defies any understanding of the laws of Physics.
That’s All Ya Got? Image: The Professor
Bar Fight. Image: The Professor
Team Pazuzu came out again and flattened the victors. These guys are malevolence personified.
More Team Pazuzu Troublemaking. Image: The Professor
6. Donovan Dijak vs. Biff Busick. W. – Dijak
Rumor has it that Busick feels Dijak has cut corners in his short, meteoric wrestling career. Dijak came out even more arrogant than usual, if that is possible. It didn’t take long for Busick to disappear under the apron and emerge with a bloody head. Blood got everywhere which actually benefitted this correspondent by opening a better spot as some ringside fans declined to stand in the pooled plasma.
It Was Personal. Image: The Professor
Highlights included a devastating Dijak 1/2 crab, multiple face kicks, chops, and suicide dives. It was clear that these men truly hate each other. Dijak finished things with a legitimate pin.
Boston Crab. Image: The Professor
Serious Disrespect. Image: The Professor
The Kingdom came out and taunted Busick about his “boo boo”. Taven and Bennett got into the ring and prepared to overwhelm the exhausted Busick until Drew Gulak appeared to challenge Taven & Bennett to a match with him and Mr. Busick at the next show. Gulak calling Taven “Paulie Shore” was priceless.
Honor. Image: The Professor
7. Death by Elbow (Chris Hero & JT Dunn) vs. Da Hoodz (Davey Cash & Chris Pyro). W – Death by Elbow
D.B.E asked to face Da Hoodz, who they acknowledged as the hardest working tag team in Beyond Wrestling. They really want a piece of The Young Bucks, but put in a heck of an effort against the local boys. The Professor expected Pyro and Cash to roll over fast but they did their best work in a highly competitive match. There have been rumors going around New England that Da Hoodz were done, but this match proved that they are very much alive and a huge threat to all Northeast teams. A double team elbow attack sent Pyro out of the ring and Dunn & Hero ended things with a dual elbow attack on Cash. After the match Death by Elbow honored the work of Da Hoodz. (Note to The Fellowship – you may have a problem very soon).
Hero & Pyro. Image: The Professor
8. Nick Gage vs. Stockade. W – Gage
Gage seemed in a trance, totally focused. After every sadistic attack on Stockade he would repeat “Who’s the man?”. Getting the better of a man the size of Stockade is no mean feat. Gage managed to drag the giant up the stairs and threw him down perhaps 25 stairs to the concrete. Gage used his pent-up rage to best the biker. After the match, (big surprise) Team Pazuzu put the hurt on Gage. He was saved by Kimber Lee and Shynron.
The King. Image: The Professor
Stockade Did Some Damage. Image: The Professor
9. Kimber Lee & Shynron vs. Chris Dickinson & Heidi Lovelace. W – Dickinson & Lovelace
Sometimes you work with people whom you never manage to like. In this case these people despise each other. The match started as interference with the prior match. Kimber Lee was on fire with rage towards Lovelace and gave a focused attack. Unfortunately it was against one of the toughest, meanest, and most skilled women in the sport. Not to mention the maniacal Dickinson, who didn’t hesitate to savage both Lee and her Lucha partner. Lovelace pinned Lee fairly. Shortly after, the annoying Team Pazuzu came in to wreak havoc. The attack was mitigated by Da Hit Squad and Mr. Gage. The feuds that will come from all this insanity could go on for years.
Lovelace Doing What She Does Best. Image: The Professor
Kimber Was Pissed. Image: The Professor
Yet Again, Team Pazuzu. Image: The Professor
10. Paul London vs. A.R. Fox. W – Fox
A.R. Fox was announced as “The Living Legend”. A big claim. Mr. London came in and literally slapped hands with every fan in the room, taking 3 runs of his music and a period of him leaving the building and coming in from the other side. London was covered with streamers by admiring fans. Fox patiently waited, not allowing the exhibition to distract him from his game plan.
The Amazing Paul London. Image: The Professor
Both men put on a clinic, showing the best scientific and high-risk moves that professional wrestling has to offer. The Professor suggests that you buy the video to get a true sense of what this match (and the rest of the show) was all about. Fox’s valet, Miss Fox, did sneak in at one point and amazingly put London in a sunset flip. It didn’t seem to hurt him. Things concluded when Mr. London missed a neck scissors (A Frankensteiner?) from the top turnbuckle and landed on his back. Fox capitalized with what this reporter called a double moonsault (described by Mr. Rivera as a 450 splash). London graciously took the mic after his defeat and praised Mr. Fox for his skills, calling him “the evolution of what this business will be”. If only the clowns in Team Pazuzu had 1/1000 of London’s class.
Combat. Image: The Professor
Fox & London. Image: The Professor
This reporter is still processing what he saw yesterday. Beyond Wrestling is aptly named. This was not a wrestling show, but an event. The venue has a lot to do with this. Excellent, roomy accommodation for all, great lighting and sound, a balcony section to give fans a choice of perspectives, proximity to the ring and access to the workers, tons of merch, amazing food, a bar for those who wish to have an adult beverage, and a festival atmosphere where fans and wrestlers come together to experience the passion of professional wrestling.
Drew Cordeiro somehow brings in not only the very top New England talent, but the cream of the international independent circuit. The Professor is going to analyze this company and try to find out how he does this. It’s truly special.
One thing really hit this correspondent on the drive home: During the entire 5 1/2 hours at the show not once did thoughts of the challenged state of the wrestling business come to mind. All that was in the air and in the Professor’s head was, as said above, Joy.
We’ll be going to Beyond Wrestling on a regular basis going forward and will have more thoughts on this organization in the months to come.
Thanks to Marcus Rivera for his results article which helped a lot with names, sequences, and some of the finishing moves.
July 26, 2015